The one for me.

Dont worry about the people in your past,
There's a reason they didn't make it into your future

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♥ Yuenlam...To be 17 on 12oct, with a superb wishlist

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Friday, June 01, 2007, 1:22 PM

JOKES TIMES!

fart profiles

-honest person : one who admits he farted, but offer a gd medical reason

-elegant person: one who farts discreetly.

-amiable person: one who loves the smell of other people's fart.

-proud person: one who think his fart is exceptionally pleasant.

-shy person: one who releases silent fart, then blushes.

-impudent person: one who farts loud, then laughs.

-scientific person: one who farts regularly, but is concerned with pollution.

-boisterous person: one who farts loudly.

-messy person: one who farts and leaves a residue.

-unfortunate person: one who tries to fart, but shit instead.

-nervous person: one who stops in the middle of a fart.

-vain person: one who loves the smell of his own fart.

-dishonest person: one who farts and blames it on his dog.

-persistent person: one who can't stop farting.

-foolish person: one who suppresses a fart for hrs.

-thrifty person: one who always fart in reserve.

-anti social person: one who excuses himself to fart in private.

-stragetic person: one who conceals his fart with laughter.

-artistic person: one whose farts have flavour.

-intellectual person: one who can determine the smell of his neighbour's fart.

-sadistic person: one who farts in bed and puts the bedsheet over his bedmate.

-sensitive person: one who farts, then starts crying.

-aquatic person: one who farts in the bath, then bursts the bubbles with his toe.,, XD

bathroom scales

1. weigh urself with clothes on, after dinner...as well in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, coz it's nice to see how much weight u have lost overnight.

2. never weigh urself with wet hair.

3. when weighing, remove evrything, including glasses.In this case, blurred vision is an asset. dont 4get the earrings, these can weigh at least a pound.

4. use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, coz they are owaes 5 pounds off.. to ur advantage.

5. always go to the bathroom 1st.

6. weigh urself aft a haircut; this is good for at least half a pound of hair.

7. exhale with all ur might BEFORE stepping onto the scale ( air has to weigh smthg, right?)

diet tips

1. if no one see u eat it, it has no calories.

2.if u drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they wil cancel each other out.

3. food taken for medicinal purposes does not count. this includes chocolate, brandy, toast and sara lee chocolate cake.

4. if u fatten up evryone around u, u'll look thiner.

5. pieces of cookies contain no calories. the process of brking causes calorie leakage.

6. late-night snacks have no calories. the fridge light is not strong for the calories 2 see their way into the calorie counter.

short stories

Dear dad, thing$ are really $well here at $chool, but they could be better. i need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. i $u$pect that u will gue$$ what i mean and $end $ome $oon. Your loving $on, $teve.

Dear son, NOthing is new here. i kNOw that u are doing better NOw than u did in NOvember. write aNOther letter soon. i want to get this NOte in the NOon post, so i'll sign off NOw. Aunt NOra sends her regards. Love, dad.

(get it??? ^_^)

LAST ONE

"do u like music?"
"of coz, i have a zither at home"
"really? i have a brother at home"
"no, u dun understand. a zither is a sort of a lyre"
"well, my brother is a liar too."
"@#@$!@#@#..."